Season 6B, Episode 1: Let There Be Light

I started this post (and by started I mean wrote like one paragraph) on Sept 6th and then didn’t come back to it until after news broke that Willie Garson sadly passed away at the age of 57. I truly cannot imagine anyone else playing Stanford Blatch. He brought so much talent and sass to the role. My only complaint, and really, I guess this is more for the writers, is that too often he was Carrie’s doormat. But then again she treats everyone like shit, why should he be the exception? Anyway, this was incredibly sad to see and I hope his friends and family can find comfort in their memories of him.

As for Bradshaw and friends, we’re in the home stretch. I’ve been asked and want to confirm I WILL be covering the movie(s) (the second one was so bad I’m not sure I can stomach it but I will try), in addition to the reboot And Just Like That, whenever it happens to air. It is supposed to be sometime this fall, so who knows.

Anyway, the episode opens with Carrie arriving home and going through her mail. She has received a letter from Aleksandr Petrovsky (AP), I am not spelling that ever again, asking her if she would like to go for a walk (How did he have her address??). Apparently it has been three weeks since their date, even though it went from late summer to full blown fall…? I don’t live in a place where there is fall anymore but I don’t recall it happening that quickly when I lived in Chicago. (Although maybe I DO live in a place where there is fall, Southern California, because people have been mentioning it, but today is Oct. 3 and it is 84-degrees so I’m confused.)

Carrie and AP are strolling through the park while he tries to guilt trip her for rejecting him. That’s slightly inaccurate because she kissed him at the end of the night but god forbid didn’t go home to ride the Russian Rooster.

Turns out, AP was in Holland, hence the three week gap in communication. Whatever. Let’s explore the reasons why Carrie Bradshaw is the worst.

#1 – Well, when he mentions Holland, she refers to it as “the land of wooden shoes” in a very condescending way and while I have never been there, I’ve heard it is lovely and doesn’t deserve this type of slander.

#2 – AP tells her he brought her back a present and suggests they sit down on a bench. He offers her milk chocolate, which he pulls out of one pocket, or dark chocolate, in the other pocket, and she will need to reach for it. She makes a horrendous mousetrap cartoon joke.

Then they start making out, which…I guess? But also get a room?

#3 – We next see Carrie and the gals shopping for perfume when she announces that she is “taking a lover” (BARF) and that her lover is AP. Miranda’s response: “Wait, the old guy?”

Gets me every time. Carrie responds thusly:

I mean, good answer, but also, what does she actually know about common decency?

#4 – The OTHER reason Carrie didn’t fuck AP on a park bench is because she needs to get her lady business waxed. No one cares. Miranda again mentions that he’s old, saying, “Hello, 60!” Carrie’s response is that AP is in his “lover-perfect early 50s” and I have no idea what that means and she probably doesn’t either, because she’s the worst.

#5 – Charlotte keeps insisting that AP could be Carrie’s new boyfriend and Carrie keeps insisting that there is no way they can be serious because half the time she can’t even understand him and he’s always going to Europe. I wish she had stayed on that island because she changes her mind pretty quickly and literally no one benefits.

SIDEBAR: Now that Miranda and Steve are back together, he’s moved in with her. Of course the first thing we see is them hopping on the elevator and then Robert joining them. All three of them make it as awkward as possible. (Also, he lives on the 10th floor but gets on the elevator at the 3rd floor….maybe he made a new friend? I’m overthinking this.)

SIDEBAR 2: Charlotte cannot shut the fuck up about trying to get pregnant again while taking a walk with Anthony. She is babbling about whether or not she should start working because apparently the nanosecond her embryo has latched on there is no way she’s going to keep her job. I love Charlotte, but she should just realize that if she is this obsessed with having a baby, she should not attempt to have a job, especially when she can afford not to work. She also sees someone assisting a blind man and decides she is going to volunteer to help the blind. All that results in is another reason that Carrie Bradshaw is the WORST.

#6 – Carrie is getting waxed and asks the woman waxing her if she is Russian. Once that is confirmed, Carrie asks her how to say “hello” and how to say “thank you”. Also, she has one of her legs sticking straight up, AND IS STILL WEARING HEELS, which is not how waxing that part of your body works AT ALL.

SIDEBAR 3: Miranda has decided to take the stairs to avoid Robert, but unfortunately he has the same idea. They have a confrontation and I really wonder why the writers decided to make him so angry and hateful. He is the complete opposite of the charming and kind man he’d been before. Of course he has every right to be upset, but just from everything we’ve seen of his character, I don’t think he’d be this mean.

#7 – In her voiceover she says that after her dinner date with AP, she “took the express elevator to lover-ville”. But she says it like lovaaah-ville, which makes it even more annoying. And when he holds the elevator door open for her, she attempts to thank him in Russian. Also, she is so thirsty, and so obvious about it. So they fuck. Great.

#8 – She wakes up to find a note on his pillow that he’s making breakfast. So she grabs his shirt and walks down the stairs in her bra and underwear, horrified to find some of AP’s staff there. I mean, maybe just get all the way dressed if you hear voices? Or if you didn’t hear them, do it anyway because common decency REMEMBER? Anyway, he’s made her pancakes and is off to Amsterdam.

SIDEBAR 4: This is so dumb. Carrie is walking and talking with Samantha about her Russian ride and Sam starts dissing Smith and his lack of sexual experience out of nowhere. I don’t know why the writers decided to bring back Richard for a nothing story. (More on that shortly.)

#9 – At the end of Samantha’s random rant, Carrie says, “We’re not talking about me anymore, are we?” NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU.

#10 – Carrie decides to Google AP after Samantha tells her there is no way she is the first lady that he has made pancakes for. The results of her search are (well, fake, for one) a list of his “many loves” from 1999. At this point in the show it is late 2003/early 2004. Anyway.

SIDEBAR 5: Smith gets invited to a Teen Posse magazine event, top 30 under 30. Samantha refuses to go until she sees on the invitation that Richard Wright is hosting the event. WHY? WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS?

SIDEBAR 6: Some poor volunteer coordinator has to listen to Charlotte about the state of her fertility and baby plans but how she DEF wants to volunteer and work with the blind. She suggests that Charlotte take a friend to a public place and have the friend lead her around while she is blindfolded so she can get a sense of the challenges those who are visually impaired face. A great idea in concept, except the friend she chooses is Carrie and the public place they go to is Barney’s.

#11 – Of course THAT scene opens with Carrie blathering on and on about AP and where their relationship could possibly go. She briefly remembers why they are there, and as soon as Charlotte puts on her blindfold, Carrie’s cell phone rings and she says it must be AP because it is a “European code.” She asks Charlotte if she should answer, Charlotte approves, but then things go a little haywire.

#12 – Carrie’s cell reception is bad so AP is cutting in and out. She tells Charlotte that she needs to go elsewhere but that Charlotte should stay put. Charlotte does the opposite while Carrie is yelling into her phone to try and make up for bad reception. She and AP are planning a date for the next night. When the call ends, Carrie realizes she’s lost Charlotte, and instead of looking for her, decides to try on shoes instead because of course she doesn’t have enough of them and hasn’t paid Charlotte back for buying her apartment for her because she can’t stop buying shoes. Charlotte finally takes off her blindfold and finds Carrie thusly.

Charlotte looks appalled, as she should. I know she isn’t actually blind but Carrie makes every fucking situation about herself and I want to scream continuously about it.

SIDEBAR I HATE EVERYONE: Samantha and Smith go to this dumb event, she fucks Richard, Smith is a doormat. The end.

SIDEBAR WHAT IS THE POINT OF ANY OF THIS: Miranda and Steve are moving his stuff into her apartment and are inexplicably keeping his shit in the lobby for anyone to grab. When they come down for the TV, it has been smashed. It’s like a 20-inch piece of shit and Miranda is convinced that Robert is the vandal because he’s still “crazy in love with her.” Steve goes to confront him and it turns out he’s mid-threesome but Steve spares Miranda the vandalism to her ego and just tells her he took care of it. (Also, Miranda can afford to hire movers, why didn’t she just do that?) ALSO Steve knocks on 3D, but when Robert moved in he was on the 10th floor, I fact checked it, what are they even doing?

#13 – After AP and Carrie have fucked, he tells her he needs to do work in his studio (on the same floor, he owns the whole floor) but she can stay as long as she likes. She decides that she’s not built to be a fuck buddy so gets dressed and goes over to his studio to announce that. He tells her this is not about a “quick bang” which is not a lover-perfect early 50s thing to say. UGHHHH.

Vulture doesn’t think much of this episode either, but their summary is amazeballs.

10 thoughts on “Season 6B, Episode 1: Let There Be Light

  1. Thank Gaaaaawd for your coverage of this! Barf is right. The movies were nearly intolerable. God help you. Sidebar: SJP made Willie Garson’s passing all about Her. With the ugly and very Loud “I’m not ready” and her “silence” and then her sickeningly dramatic tribute. She could have given him a better role in life! Made less humiliating rote “gay boyfriend” storylines? And in his sad and untimely passing – posted a few words on Nathan Garson’s tribute to His Father!! And then be done with her drama but no! A college age son who just lost his father and you can’t say “anything” – you can’t heart his post….because you’re “not ready”? But you can lift your thumb to key in the melodrama on Chris Noth’s respectful post?!?! Hmmm. She should have made this all about Willie Garson and his son who lost his father. But that’s impossible for her! It always has to be about SJP. Art imitates life or vice versa. In this instance SJP is also THE WORST! I’m grossed out and downvoted in droves on reddit sub but it’s real! She’s drama and at this point in SATC – the worst actress and producer. And greed and vanity – or would have stopped the train wreck of the movies to follow.


    1. Thank you for writing exactly what I was thinking and feeling about SJP’s Willie Garson tribute. I didn’t know they were friends for so long, but she knew what she was doing in delaying her tribute. She knew he was sick. His son was able to pen something immediately to let everyone know what had happened, everybody else who had ever worked with him or been friends with him had posted tributes, everybody was waiting to see what SJP said… and she knew this, and played on it. Gross, gross, gross. Smacked of what she posted after Kim Cattrall’s brother died… and Kim was NOT going to let her get away with that shit!


      1. Well, I got uproarious-ly downvoted all over SATC Reddit sub – when I expressed my thoughts on SJP’s dramatic “lack of readiness” to be socially decent — in regards to Willie Garson’s passing. So thank you so kindly for concurring. And taking the time to let me know. It’s soothing from the beat down I had to endure on Reddit. SJP is apparently (I’m just putting two and two together) a real piece of work! She comes from my hometown and I’ve heard stories about her being a drama queen in hs – where she went to our local yet very acclaimed performing arts hs. I went there for many classes yrs later and never believed the stories about her. I chalked them up to jealousy. (Her teachers used her as an example of who NOT to become!) But now?! Not so much empathy for her. And I now believe that lore based solely on her handling of WG’s passing – on social media. Likewise I understand Kim Cattrall’s issues (in relation to the 3rd movie and reboot) and also the tragic loss of her brother…all of it now makes utter perfect sense. I’ve long loved KC (not always her role in SATC but her acting is phenomenal!) … Her grief and disgust is so believable – because she’s just more credible! One story that lands perfectly in light of recent events is that SJP was jealous of her from day 1 and didn’t want a more beautiful and talented and well-known co-star, KC, to have the storylines and screen time she deserved. For fear of being over-shadowed. SJP acted like when she was back in middle school and hs and bullied KC and lorded over her other co-stars – now that she was the ep. No coincidence that these are just the type of stories told of her being the lead in her HS productions! I mean – she’s like way into her 5th decade. And she didn’t find some grown up games to play? We now know SJP is the poster *_______ for all middle-aged mean girls! People always show you who they really are in their silences as much as their ridiculous clanging. (my mother always said!) (*regarding not knowing which term to choose to expressed haggard and poorly aged.. feel free to fill in the blank!) Solidarity in our common views! 🙂


      2. I do think she made it all about her. Every other person on the planet posted something about him the day he died, but she waited, what, like 2-3 days so that her post could be front and center? THAT is what bothered me.


  2. quick typo: Robert not Richard here; “ALSO Steve knocks on 3D, but when Richard moved in he was on the 10th floor, I fact checked it, what are they even doing?”


    1. I was just re-reading the post and comment thread in the context of how SJP waited days on end to post about her co-star passing (WG). (Only replying to Chris Noth… not even “liking” Willie Garson’s son’s post honoring his father! She still hasn’t!) Update: And sjp was pictured in a group shot (of Chris Noth, herself, Nathan Garson and Kristen Davis) at the premiere of AJLT… with her body fully turned towards Chris Noth thereby with her back squarely to Nathan Garson. (Kristen Davis has her arm around Nathan) …. totally chilly body language from sjp with an ick factor (in light of her recent three way denouncing on social media after the allegations against Noth came to light) Anyway, the way I found out about Betty White passing was Valerie Bertinelli posted on ig nearly the time news outlets were airing the memorials! Now that’s a decent human! I’ve seen Betty and Valerie interact on her cooking show – irl style and there was obvious affection there. I’m sure Valerie didn’t feel “ready” but she knew it was the compassionate thing to do because it wasn’t about her! It was for Betty. And she is a public figure. That comes with the job and the accolades and the riches… the responsibility that others look to you in good times and bad for their cues and their comfort. It just is! So… anywho, gross Richard was so gross in that ridiculous contrived scene – his grossness was lingering on your fingertips as you typed the astute observation about the 3rd and 10th floor goof ala Robert! (I agree also that Roberts behavior was so out of character in those scenes I thought the writers room had a rash of amnesia cases. Ever get the idea that MPK and the writing team think we’re vapid and can’t read numerals either? (rhetorically, I asked – but seriously!) AJLT is so amnesiac it’s all hate watch sessions for me. Ep 5 was just vile.


  3. “They have a confrontation and I really wonder why the writers decided to make [Robert] so angry and hateful. He is the complete opposite of the charming and kind man he’d been before.”

    Because his nice guy schtick was all an act (or at least that’s how I interpreted it). He always did strike me as too smooth—barely a few dates in and he’s inviting himself into her apartment while she’s not even home yet to make her dinner; the ILY cookie; the “oh I’ll help you plan your son’s birthday party!” inappropriately too soon in their relationship. It’s like the love-bombing people with personality disorders do to sweep potential romantic interests off their feet during the early days so they can manipulate the person into liking them. He saw how thirsty Miranda was from day one and figured she’d be an easy and convenient fuck living only a few floors away and low demands on his time given her busy working lawyer/single mom lifestyle. As far as we know, he could have been screwing any number of other women the whole time (including that basketball cheerleader he was flirting with right in front of Miranda then tried to gaslight her about it.)


  4. You all made my night. I just read all I have been saying for years. Carrie is a selfish inconsiderate friend. Her romance with the Russian lover was so funny seeing her ask a old man for a baby 2 months dating. Lol


  5. Carrie’s response to Alexander about Holland (“The land of the wooden shoes) was probably the writers’ attempt to make Alex look “worldly” to strike a contrast with Carrie. I always thought her response made her look provincial and narrow-minded. Amsterdam is a world-class city with great history, architecture, and art. What was he doing there anyway, when it would be more likely he would be in Paris getting ready for his opening? Maybe the writers did not want to tip us off about the Paris exhibition until closer to the end of the season and series?


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