One of the greatest episodes of all time – it spawned a book AND a movie with a simple phrase: “He’s just not that into you.”
The episode opens with Samantha and Jerry role playing Housewife v. Burglar and segues into Sam recapping their sexual escapades to Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, and poor Berger. This is the first time he’s meeting Carrie’s friends. When Samantha expresses her thrill over being “fucked outside the box,” none of the ladies are impressed.
Although I am biased, Carrie should wipe that judgmental look off her face. Because she’s the worst.
Jack takes this in stride while also pointing out anything in the rape family is not a good idea. (Charlotte specifically is offended by Samantha’s role playing.) While Sam tries to defend her sex life and offers up other scenarios she is acting out with Jerry, Carrie interrupts her to ask Miranda how her date was with the real estate guy. (I should really say A real estate guy because we never hear of him again, nor did we before this.)
I wanted to split this clip into sections but…skillz…I am missing. (Also yes, me again holding my phone in front of the TV because the clip on YouTube goes on for too long. First World probs, amirite?)
So let’s tackle this video (and the rest of the episode) based on the (correct) observation that Carrie Bradshaw is the Worst.
#1 – When Berger CORRECTLY informs Miranda that this dude is just not that into her, Carrie is horrified, tells Miranda not to listen to him, lists all the “what about” reasons, then tells Miranda that Berger doesn’t know what he is talking about when actually it is the exact opposite. Berger is 100% correct. SHUT UP CARRIE. TEAM BERGER FOREVER.
SIDEBAR: Yes, I am aware that Charlotte is agreeing with Carrie but Charlotte gets a pass because she is a normal, not the worst, person (until later with Harry but work with me here).
SIDEBAR 2: Parallel scene from the movie. (LOL Gigi, you are so dumb but I still love you.)
#2 – That same night, Carrie and Berger exchange their first “I love you”, so she goes blabbing to Charlotte, the only friend who could possibly tolerate Carrie right now.
#3 – Berger mails Carrie his book, Hurricane Pandora, which she finds amazing except for one thing:
She is such a fucking bitch. Sure, no one wears scrunchies anymore, but she could have just stopped at the first scrunchie joke instead of beating it into the ground. Also saying it is a good thing she came along because she knows the ladies…well isn’t it a bit late for that? The book has already been published. JUST STOP TALKING.
#4 – Carrie then whines to Miranda about how she should have kept her mouth shut (TRUE) about the stupid scrunchie and she shouldn’t have been so critical. Miranda doesn’t help because she says she did the same thing with Steve but now he has DEBBIE. Although points to Miranda for changing the subject back to herself.
SIDEBAR 3: TEAM MIRANDA HOBBES. First of all, she looks amazing and I LOVE how happy and proud she is to give these ladies solid advice. Unfortunately, they are too stupid to appreciate it.
#5 – Carrie and Miranda are trying to help Charlotte prepare her first Shabbat dinner for Harry. Carrie is being very patronizing but at the same time chastising Miranda for grilling Charlotte as to whether or not Harry has actually proposed yet. Spoiler: he hasn’t. Poor Charlotte has done all this work and is SURE Harry is going to propose ASAP so it’s a good thing she doesn’t lose her shit on him later that night.
#6 – This bitch is yelling at Berger about a scrunchie but is wearing this fucking hat?
Even worse, there is a woman at the same restaurant wearing a scrunchie. Berger gloats about this until Carrie points out she’s probably not from NYC. And when Berger asks the woman where she is from, it turns out she is from Macon, GA. Stop proving Carrie right, show!
#7 – Carrie also spends the majority of her date with Berger word vomiting about how great his book is, which does not go over well. He just grimaces at her the whole time but she is too obtuse to take the hint.
#8 – At the end of the night when Berger tells Carrie he’s going home, she freaks out and runs after him. She apologizes again for the scrunchie shit and says if she made a mistake she would want him to tell her. Berger promptly insults her hat (AS HE SHOULD) and she throws a fit because her hat is FABULOUS. Bitch, no it isn’t! It turns out his book is a big failure so her scrunchie scrutiny just made him feel worse. At least they don’t break up because it gives us the post-it note episode. F- to Berger for wearing a scrunchie in his hair the next morning as a joke and to make Carrie feel better.
SIDEBAR, OH CHARLOTTE HOW COULD YOU:
Talk about needing to shut the fuck up.
SIDEBAR WHATEVER with Samantha and Jerry Jerrod. They are cute but I don’t like them in this episode.
Up next is the stupid Prada episode.