Season 4, Episode 11: Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

This is one of my all time favorite episodes and when I was watching it the other night, I ended up tweeting something to Kim Cattrall that she actually responded to (don’t worry, I will include that in this post). Anyway, this is another episode where Carrie is (mostly) amazing to Miranda and a shit head to Aidan. By far, the best part of this episode has nothing to do with her, as we see Charlotte and Miranda struggling over pregnancy, but for opposite reasons.

The episode opens with Miranda telling Carrie that she’s pregnant and Steve is the father. And she isn’t going to tell him because she isn’t having the baby.

Miranda mentions that when she mercy fucked Steve they didn’t use a condom because she has a lazy ovary and he only has one ball. Obviously they were meant to be together forever if that resulted in a conception!!!

Meanwhile, poor Charlotte, who actually wants to be pregnant, gets her period and brings a box of tampons to brunch as a dramatic gesture.

Anyway, time to explore the reasons why Carrie Bradshaw is the worst.

#1 – While Charlotte is obsessing about how she can’t get pregnant, she mentions that she and Trey have done it without a condom 73 times and does anyone know what a waste of perfectly fine semen that is. It was a rhetorical question but of course Carrie chimes in and asks Samantha for a rough estimate. Only people who are the WORST shame their friend like that. (Sure, she may have been kidding. I don’t give a fuck – that is hurtful.)

SIDEBAR: When Miranda announces she’s pregnant with Steve’s baby, Samantha automatically understands that it was the result of a mercy fuck. Charlotte literally asks Miranda, “how could you do this to me?” That is a pretty awful rat bastard thing to say and when Miranda alludes to getting an abortion, Charlotte storms out of the restaurant. Charlotte – don’t be a Carrie and make it all about you!

#2 – We learn that Carrie had an abortion when she was 22 after a night at the Tunnel with a waiter from The Saloon (her friends keep calling it TGIFridays, LOL). The actual abortion is not why she’s the worst. She’s the worst because she lies to Aidan like 900 times about it.

#3 – Speaking of Aidan, he is patiently waiting for her to finish getting ready for whatever they have planned and she is pacing and can’t pick a shoe so she ends up spilling the details of Miranda’s secret. Before she reveals who Miranda’s Baby Daddy is, she makes Aidan swear on Chanel that he won’t tell anyone. Of course because Steve is his friend and business partner, Aidan immediately feels trapped once Carrie adds that little detail into the story.

He is upset Miranda isn’t even going to tell Steve and then asks Carrie if she has ever had an abortion. She lies and says no. Aidan is relieved. If she HAD told the truth..I mean, she was 22 and it was a one-night stand – why does she still need to lie about that at 35? And why does Aidan care?

SIDEBAR: Samantha landing Lucy Liu as a client and then promptly fucking it up. When she uses Lucy’s name/celebrity to try and land a Birkin bag, I had questions. (Fine, one question.)

Also, if Samantha had somehow succeeded and got the bag without Lucy knowing, wouldn’t someone from Hermes notice she was not carrying it down the red carpet? Anyway.

#5 – Carrie comes home wearing this outfit. (AGAIN – BODY GOALS).

Steve and Aidan are in her apartment because they were playing basketball in the area and Aidan had to take a piss. Steve immediately asks how Miranda is because she isn’t calling him back and Carrie basically panics and runs into the bathroom to confront Aidan assuming he told Steve about the pregnancy. Aidan hasn’t, because of course he hasn’t, but Carrie assumes he has because she can’t keep a fucking secret.

#6 – Carrie and Miranda are grabbing pizza for lunch when Carrie confesses that she told Aidan about the pregnancy. But Miranda shouldn’t worry, because Carrie made Aidan swear on Chanel! (Miranda should have just stormed out then and there, but Carrie gets away with everything.)

Charlotte finds out she has a 15% chance of conceiving. On her way home she sees Miranda and tries to avoid her but Miranda calls her ass out. I love this friendship – she follows Charlotte the whole way home in case she needs a friend.

#7 – Carrie, for whatever reason, decides to go to The Saloon, where apparently the same waiter who knocked her up 13 years ago is there AND she’s in his section. When he asks her for her order she’s like it’s me Carrie don’t you remember me from 13 years ago. PSYCHO. Chad, the waiter, has no idea what she’s talking about and it is so fucking awkward. Immediately after she orders, she throws money on the table and leaves to try and save face.

SIDEBAR: Carrie goes with Miranda to the abortion clinic and is the most amazing, supportive friend. I don’t know why this only happens like four times in the entire series.

When we cut to Miranda’s apartment to find out she is keeping the baby, the support everyone gives her gives me all of the feels. Samantha for sure because she is a non baby person. But when Charlotte declares, “we’re having a baby?” God. It makes me so happy.

#8 – Carrie is late to meet Aidan for dinner so they lost their table and have to wait again. While they are outside drinking beer out of paper bags, Carrie confesses that she lied to Aidan. Lie #1 was that she didn’t have an abortion (she did). Lie #2 was that the condom broke (there was no condom). Lie #3 was that she was 18 (ACTUALLY 22).

Aidan doesn’t judge her or dump her immediately. And I am not saying he should because of the abortion. I am saying he should because of her lying. She has lied to him literally since day one. Things are only going to get worse from here, so buckle up!

5 thoughts on “Season 4, Episode 11: Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

  1. I… am not sure I understand Kim’s response to your tweet. Namedropping Lucy Liu was supposed to sidestep the 5 year waiting list us mere mortals have for the bag, and it worked because Lucy’s carrying one around by the end of the episode. What did Kim mean?

    Trivia time: Carrie’s carrying a Birkin (or Fauxkin?) in the episode where she keeps running into Nina Katz. You see her toting it around while at the park with Stanford when they run into Nina with Heather Graham. I know girlfriend will drop $500 on a pair of shoes without a second thought, but these bags are like five-figures-expensive and she has never been the bag hound like she is about shoes (though she does carry some cute bags from time to time). I say it’s a fake!

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  2. Carrie Bradshaw is worse than a liar…she’s a trashy liar. Thanks for verifying that the woman has an easier time “reaching for a little white lie” than just owning up to the facts of her life–even to herself. Both Carrie and Samantha seem to have no family framework (Miranda, rich from Philly, intelligent, high-functioning family with expectations and Charlotte from a blue blood Connecticut family with a hope chest and a planned, perfect, morality-minded life ahead). So we can make up how Carrie was raised: badly, eats loudly, no parental affection or attention which makes her extremely needy and somewhat manipulative. And she often even speaks like a little girl (annoying, isn’t it?). I was amazed as I watched the series that Bradshaw was my least liked character, but she was…and still is!

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  3. Carrie is a notorious liar and makes things harder for Miranda and Aidan in this episode by just not shutting up, however I feel like Aidan doesn’t get enough critique for being a judgmental prick about Carrie’s abortion, I get why she shys away from telling him.. annoyed me then and annoys me still after rewatching it

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