We have arrived at the YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE ME episode. There is a lot going on here, which makes up for the next episode where I have far less to work with.
Carrie and Aidan are fucking when Big calls to leave a message on her machine. It could not be more awkward, although they both manage to finish.
At brunch with the girls the next day as she recaps this ordeal, she tells them that when she woke up, Aidan was on the other side of the bed instead of cuddling her. Yawn, WHO CARES? Anyway, now time to CSI this episode and prove all the reasons why Carrie Bradshaw is the Worst.
#1 – We all know the shift in Aidan’s behavior (cuddle to no cuddle) is a result of Big’s message. It didn’t help that he ended it with “call me baby.” (Also, was this the inspiration for Call Me Maybe, the most overplayed song of 2012?) She thinks they will need to talk about it but Samantha tells her to keep it in the past. Charlotte also announces she is going to quit her job to do whatever it is Park Avenue wives do. This leads to a blow-up with Miranda we will get to shortly.
#2 – The next time Carrie and Aidan wake up together, he’s at the very edge of the bed. Thinking she might be overreacting to another no-cuddle zone, she decides to test this theory by waking him up for some sugar and he tells her he has to go to the gym and that she should brush her teeth before he will kiss her.
She determines this comment means he is still angry about her affair with Big. Keeping in mind everyone has morning breath, if Aidan wants to use it against her to be petty, I am here for it.
#3 – While they are getting ready for their day, Carrie asks Aidan to help her “patch up” and put one of her nicotine patches on her. She says she is doing so much better this time and is not cheating (NOT THE BEST CHOICE OF WORDS, CARRIE), and now is practically perfect (GAG). He slaps a patch on her back pretty hard after that, which is nice considering she deserves a slap in the face. Practically perfect? NOT EVEN CLOSE.
#4 – Carrie decides to confront this head on because clearly his actions at this point are not the actions of someone who has moved on – however subtle they may or may not be. She asks Aidan if he is mad and he asks why would he be and then he gets pissed because her milk is expired. He finally tells her he is mad about work involving toxic chemicals because he can’t get anyone to watch Pete. Carrie promptly offers and says, “You love Pete, I love Pete. That’s just the kind of girlfriend I am.”
Um, no, the kind of girlfriend you are is a cheat and a liar! But keep riding that delusion train to suck station.
#5 – She asks him if she can take him to dinner that night but he has plans with the guys at Steve’s bar and he doesn’t care whether or not she meets up. The phone rings and it is Miranda (fresh off her fight with Charlotte, who called to accuse her of not being supportive about her decision to quit her job), who has thrown out her neck and asks Carrie to come over to help her. Carrie has a meeting with her editor that she can’t cancel so Aidan offers to go check on Miranda. Okay your friend literally can’t move, I think you can reschedule your meeting with your editor over your shit writing. But Aidan goes and is AMAZING to Miranda and he just deserves so much better than Carrie.
Also, and I just thought of this, he could take Carrie’s actions out on Miranda as some petty people do (Hi, Carrie to Berger’s friends in Season 6). And yes, I know Carrie and Aidan are back together, but he is obviously still pissed.
#6 – Anyway, Carrie decides to go down to Steve’s bar to interrupt guys night to tell Aidan thank you for taking care if Miranda. She shows up in this outfit and HELLO AB GOALS. (I mean, when I was running half marathons I didn’t even come close to 1/10th of this but a girl can dream)
She gets there to discover that guys night has been canceled and Aidan is sitting at the bar playing jacks (with peanuts) with the bartender Shana, who is clearly flirting with him and has clearly heard about Carrie before based on her reaction to meeting her.
If that look doesn’t say oh you’re the trash who cheated on Aidan and got a second chance before I even get a first one, then I don’t know what does. We are all Shana.
Before leaving, Carrie tells Aidan she doesn’t have to work the next day so he should come over, but he never shows up that night.
#7 – Carrie goes to Miranda’s the next day with bagels, thinking that will be enough to cheer her up/make her feel better, and Miranda’s oh wow that was so nice of you is so sarcastic a baboon would be able to tell but Carrie thinks she is serious and is immensely proud of herself. She then IMMEDIATELY launches into her Aidan drama and Miranda rightly calls her out.
Miranda also calls out her decoy bagels because Carrie couldn’t even be bothered to remember to bring cream cheese. Once she is reprimanded and apologies, she wastes no time going back to talking about her problems with Aidan. It’s just always about her. Because she’s the worst.
#8 – While Carrie is walking Pete, he gets the runs and she ends up having to diaper him. She takes him back to Aidan, who is outside of his store (I think?) flirting with Shana. Carrie rages over in this outfit (also a little fancy for just a dog walk, don’t you think?), drops Pete off and immediately tells Aidan she is leaving and grabs a taxi.
He chases after her and asks what her problem is and she yells about Shana and what is he even doing and right before she gets in the cab she says, “Why don’t you just fuck her? Then we can both be bad.”
# 9 – Now we get to my least favorite part of not only this episode but almost all of the others as well. Aidan shows up, rightfully pissed off, and she keeps telling nothing will ever happen again between her and Big and she’d never cheat on him again. He tells her that he doesn’t want her to see Big ever again, which she actually refuses to do.
I think he comes in to hug her just to shut her up because she says he has to forgive her like 950 times in a row and it is annoying as fuck.
SIDEBAR: I would have liked to see more of Samantha and the guy who stole her cab turned boyfriend in subsequent episodes but that’s not how Samantha rolls.