God I fucking love this episode, mainly for the Charlotte and Samantha conflict/resolution. Poor Miranda gets stood up for a date (turns out he died, RIP Will) and Charlotte can’t get fucked properly (or at all, actually) by her impotent husband. But don’t worry – even though the better storylines don’t involve Carrie, we still have plenty of reasons to discuss why she’s the worst. Let’s go!
#1 – Miranda gets stood up for a date and calls Carrie to ask if she wants to grab a drink. Carrie says she can’t because she’s working because she has to teach dating classes at The Learning Annex, which…why the fuck would they ask her? And how exactly does she need to prepare for that?
#2 – This is what she considers sound dating advice for people who have paid for this class. I mean, what a fucking joke. She blew off Miranda for this “class” and only has to talk for approximately one minute before everyone there realizes she is a fraud and turns on her.
All she does is talk about herself (SHOCKER) and then can’t actually help anyone. And she is so FUCKING proud of herself even though everyone else hates her. BECAUSE SHE IS THE WORST.
Also, I don’t want to defend Carrie but when she suggests Micky Mantle’s as a good place to meet men and some lady proclaims she went there and all the men were married – well I am PRETTY sure that isn’t true and you could probably find single men there. But Carrie is like oh okay my bad. AMATEUR HOUR .
#3 – Carrie accompanies Miranda to her date Will’s wake and runs into Jim, an asshole from her past, who is giving Miranda all of the feels. It turns out Jim was roommates with Will in college which is why he’s there. Miranda is giving him the come fuck me eyes but Carrie warns her he’s an asshole. Takes one to know one and all that.
#4 – After a disastrous brunch where Charlotte and Samantha come to blows over sex (“Hey Mrs. Softie, at least I’m getting laid” is what sends Char over the edge, causing her to storm out), Miranda tells Carrie that Jim asked her out and basically wants permission to date him. Carrie dated him EIGHT years ago but still reacts like a bitter ex, ultimately giving in to Miranda’s begging. Also, what is Miranda wearing?
#5 – She is lingerie shopping with Charlotte, who is desperate to get Trey to see her sexually. Carrie is making awkward jokes instead of being a supportive friend because this whole ordeal is making her uncomfortable. Be a friend for once, Jesus. She also takes this opportunity to tell Charlotte that “this is more of a Samantha job” knowing full well they aren’t speaking. Then she defends Samantha, which just makes Charlotte more upset. GREAT JOB.
#6 – Miranda calls Carrie to talk about her date with Jim and the first thing Carrie does is act all surprised and hurt that people asked for their money back after her failed attempt at “teaching”. (She was afraid to answer her phone because she thought it would be the Learning Annex) THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU.
Quick detour to talk about Charlotte getting drunk with her sorority sisters and going all Samantha on them. It is amazing. She goes from prim and proper to “my husband can’t get it up” and starts loudly announcing her unmet needs in about ten seconds. All the feels for Kristin Davis here.
And Samantha’s reaction when she figures out what Claire Anne is doing under that table – well it shocks her into realizing even she has her sexual limits.
Okay, back to Carrie being the worst.
#7 – Carrie agrees to have a drink with Jim and Miranda, where he finally lets his true colors show and Miranda immediately breaks up with him. A list of things he says about Carrie and their accuracy:
- Her column is really good. (Okay, sure.)
- There is a lot of sex in her column (duh) but she didn’t seem to know too much about it when they were dating. (Can’t comment on the accuracy of that one but telling someone they are bad at sex is horrible so I have to defend Carrie on this one…THANKS A LOT, JIM.)
- She was too busy shopping for shoes to ever hear his band, Uncle Ted’s Ass, play. (Emphatically correct.)
- Said shoes come in handy when she is walking all over people. (She’s super selfish, so I am going to mark this one as true.)
#8 – She gets WAY to much pleasure from telling Miranda that she was right about Jim the whole time.
#9 – Like six people show up to her second class at The Learning Annex so she takes them to a bar and buys them drinks and I’m almost impressed until she mentions in her voiceover that she didn’t even look for herself, as if she deserves some kind of award.
SIDEBAR: The whole arc of Charlotte realizing she’s a little bit Samantha and vice versa is just my absolute favorite. I love how they are essentially complete opposites but still love each other. And Charlotte calling Samantha first after Trey fucks her successfully…my heart.