Season 3, Episode 10: All or Nothing

I really struggled to write this one because this episode is bullshit and so is the opening voice over when Carrie is talking about how great her relationship is with Aidan (She describes it as so comfortable she can leave it for an evening; I’m sorry, how is that different from when she fucked Big in a hotel room while Aidan sanded her floors or whatever?). She is saying goodbye to Aidan to spend a night with the girls and they are making out like teenagers. Bitch, you just fucked someone else! How do you have zero guilt? Oh that’s right – BECAUSE YOU’RE THE WORST. Here are other reasons:

#1 – The girls gather for an evening at Samantha’s new downtown apartment. At the end of the night, Carrie stays to “help” Samantha clean up but really wants to tell her about what happened with Big. Samantha’s reaction when Carrie claims it isn’t happening again says it all.

And then her look when Carrie asks her not to tell Charlotte or Miranda says it all again:

I think Carrie tells Samantha first because she is the least likely to judge and the most likely to condone it. Exhibit A: “Don’t beat yourself up. Aidan hasn’t said ‘I love you yet’, until he does, you’re a free agent.” (Carrie points out that is a very convenient theory for Samantha but takes it and runs with it…and then some. This is also the same justification she used back in Season 2 before Big said it and she rage made out with Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog)

#1-A – For the record, I used to think I wanted to be like Carrie – everyone wants to be a Carrie, right? Well, maybe when I was 25 I did, but now as I watch this series for the 999th time, I can confidently say that I don’t want to be her – even though parts of me were back in the day. Make sense? No? Who cares!

#2 – After bidding adieu to Samantha, Carrie goes to Aidan’s, in the middle of the night, to wake him up and act like a stage-five clinger.

#3 – Aidan leaves the next morning to go to Pennsylvania for “a couple days” to deliver a chair and Carrie begs him not to. This, after she told him he was being too available at the beginning of their relationship. Also, she knows she can’t be trusted when he’s out of town (or around the fucking corner as we learned in the last episode).

#4 – After Trey drops a prenup on Charlotte, she has Miranda look it over. Carrie makes a comment about how her only assets are her shoes – DO YOU NOT SEE THE ISSUE HERE, CARRIE???

#5 – While Aidan is still out of town, she decides to distract herself by doing meaningless things around her apartment in this outfit.

Then calls Big to tell him the sex can’t happen again, only for it to promptly happen again. In her apartment. And Big can “smell the guy on (her) sheets.” Also, she’s smoking again.

#6 – She gets rid of her and Big’s “sex sheets” the literal minute Aidan is knocking on her door to tell her how much he missed her and also that he loves her (dude, Aidan, NO, don’t). Carrie pauses, then says it back, but as we know that is not going to stop her from doing whatever and whoever she wants. Also, Aidan should rethink his leather pants.

#7 – She and Aidan are doing crossword puzzles together when Big calls to tell her that he’s outside. She pretends it is Miranda and then tells Aidan she is going to walk Pete (in booty shorts and red pumps). Big wants to tell Natasha about the affair and just be with Carrie – this does not go over well. I don’t get her, I really don’t. She tells him how wonderful Aidan is (but not so wonderful she can refrain from fucking someone else), and she acts like Big and Natasha’s marriage is sacred. Sure Jan dot gif.

In the middle of her fight with Big she forgets about Pete and drops his leash. He promptly runs off. Carrie has to run after him (in those shoes) and Big is running after her. Also, it is pretty impressive how fast she can run in those shoes.

#8 – She manages to stay out for THREE hours wandering around in the rain, looking for Pete and scoring at least one cigarette. When she finally goes home, she finds that Pete is already there and Aidan wasn’t upset she lost him. When he does bring up his suspicions of why she was walking Pete to begin with, you think she’s going to come clean. But…

No, Aidan just wants to know if she’s smoking again. When she says she really wants to quit, we all know she’s not just talking about the cigarettes. (She must not want to quit THAT much though because of what happens in the next episode)

SIDEBAR: Charlotte telling the girls how her future MIL Bunny is so great – yeah, not so much. 

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