Season 3, Episode 1: Where There’s Smoke…

Season 3 is when things really start to go off the rails in terms of how much Carrie sucks. Let’s do this!

In the season opener, the girls are headed to Staten Island so Carrie can judge some FDNY calendar competition. Roger Sterling (sorry, Mad Men 4eva) is also one of the judges. He is some rando running for city comptroller (basically CFO of the city, I guess?). 

Let’s assess all the reasons Carrie Bradshaw is the worst, shall we?

#1 – After they both judge a bunch of dudes, Roger Sterling offers to buy Carrie a drink later on in the night. About 90 seconds later she admits she doesn’t know what district she’s in BECAUSE SHE HAS NEVER VOTED IN NEW YORK CITY. Do we need to remind her it isn’t 1890?? Anyway, she gives him her address (245 E 73rd St, which, according to the Googles, is on the Upper East Side) so he can tell her the voting district she’s in. (I have read in numerous publications that the outside of her apartment was actually on 66 Perry Street, which is in the West Village, but it doesn’t matter.) Also, apartments at her fake address are like $6,000 a month. No thanks! Anyway Rog asks her out like nine times and she rejects him because she isn’t over Big and clams up when he asks her if she had a bad breakup.

#2 – Carrie comes home from shopping for enough Jimmy Choo shoes to max out her credit card when she finds Rog on her steps waiting for her. He asks her to go to some event with him back on SI and she immediately says no. Apparently she can’t handle persistence or men making an effort unless that man is Big.

#3 – She originally said she’d pick up Miranda from her laser eye surgery but then bailed because of a looming deadline. Because she is apparently incapable of not being a selfish bitch and planning ahead to help out a friend.

#4 – After telling Rog that she won’t go to this event with him, she is dressed and ready to go at the time he suggests. She lets him leave a message on her machine from his car phone, outside her apartment. (OH BUT YOU INTERCEPT CALLS FROM BIG, I SEE HOW IT IS) And then she lets him drive off BEFORE she calls Miranda for a dose of reality (Big hurt her so much she’s terrified. Yes, please keep riding that train, it is not exhausting in the slightest) and then hops on the ferry to meet her cute politician. Why do you have to make things so difficult Carrie????? 

#5 And then by the end of the night they are fiercely making out in the coat check room after she told him she wanted to take things slow. Mixed messages much?

SIDEBAR: Steve coming to pick Miranda up from her surgery even though she told him not to…#teamstevebrady

SIDEBAR 2: This episode clearly takes place when it is cold out but the air date was June 4, 2000.

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