Season 2, Episode 5: Four Women and a Funeral

This is another episode that I dislike. Carrie, Charlotte and Samantha attend the funeral for a famous designer, Javier something or other (Miranda has better things to do. Literally. She’s buying an apartment). Charlotte’s hat blows off during the service and she runs after it and ends up meeting a guy who is visiting his wife’s grave and picks him up. REALLY???

Get off Carrie’s level of suck, Char. Not one to be outdone, Carrie decides to one-up Charlotte’s level of WTF by doing the following (BECAUSE SHE’S THE WORST):

1. Somehow being at the funeral prompts Carrie to call Big and ask him out to dinner. She justifies this with the life is too short bullshit. Life IS too short to make the same mistake 47 times, but she’s unfazed.
2. In a voice-over after their phone call, Carrie says, “In under 30 seconds, we resuscitated a relationship that had taken six months to die.” Did you really, though? What if he just wants to be friends? Nice ego.
3. Let’s break down her voice-over before her Big date (I had to). “That night, I had my date with Big. (Congratulations) I was feeling everything. Fear. (Because he hasn’t changed) Happiness. (Because you haven’t changed) Dread. (Because you know where this is going) Was I ready to jump back into a life with Big in it? (No, but you’re too delusional to realize it) Was seeing him again a huge mistake? (YES!) And if it was, why was I so excited? (Mama needs her sugar) I had never felt so confused.”
4. After dinner she makes out with Big at his place and then bails because she decides it’s a bad idea to get back together. She claims that after their first attempt at a relationship she “got out just in time.” Uhhhhh, no. Unless by “got out just in time” you of course mean stalked him and his mother at church so he’d be forced to introduce you.
5. Big shows up to Carrie’s apartment after his four phone calls go unreturned. He wants to, of course, seal the deal, but she’s not ready so she drags him bowling hoping it will kill his boner. The conversation after he bowls a strike is so double entendre it hurts me:

Big: Hey look at that. I won

Carrie: Okay, two out of three.

Big: You want to play a second game, huh?

Carrie: Maybe

Big: Are you sure you’re ready to get killed all over again?

Carrie: Yup, let’s do it.

And they do. It.

SIDEBAR : The whole Samantha becoming a social pariah for making out with a rich socialite’s husband is ridiculous. But not as ridiculous as the show claiming she gets rescued by Leonardo DiCaprio, a blurred image that could literally be anybody.