Season 1, Episode 12: Oh Come All Ye Faithful

And now, we’ve reached the season one finale.

Miranda is dating a guy, Thomas John something, his name isn’t important, who always needs to shower immediately after sex because when he was growing up, the nuns told him sex is a sin. For research purposes about religion and sex (I guess?) Carrie does a walking drive-by of some random church and sees Big leaving with a woman. After he puts the mystery woman in a taxi, he spots Carrie on the street and comes to talk to her.

Let’s now discuss why she’s the worst.

  1. The first thing she asks Big is, “Who is the mystery woman?” Sure, she didn’t get a good look at her, but jumps right in to the accusatory questions. Big informs her that the woman is his mother and he takes her to church every Sunday. After her big encounter (sorry, I had to), Carrie tells her friends she’s dying to meet Mama Big. (Charlotte’s comment about how a man who cares about his mother makes a wonderful husband will definitely come back to bite her in the ass.)
  2. Carrie asks Big when she gets to go to church with him and his mother. First he grills her on her religious beliefs and then he says it is a private thing between him and his mother, which bums Carrie out. He can tell, so he immediately changes the subject by pitching a trip to St. Barts that he’ll pay for.
  3. Even though Big told Carrie that church was a private thing he shares with his mother, she decides to STALK HIM AT CHURCH WITH MIRANDA anyway, because why wouldn’t she? She just wants to get a good look at Mama Big. Okay, psycho. (Miranda agreeing to this is surprising given that out of everyone she seems the least likely to condone this type of behavior but whateves.)
  4. Carrie drops her bible from the balcony and causes a scene and gets caught because everyone sees her, including Big. Then she STAYS afterwards to say hi because it would be rude not to, according to her logic. If it were me, I would have fled the premisis immediately.
  5. Big introduces Carrie to his mom as “my friend Carrie.” And after hearing her name, there is no hint of recognition in Mama Big’s face whatsoever. So Bradshaw says, “Carrie, Carrie.” As in, why don’t you recognize my name, your son should be talking about me 24/7. I can’t do this justice with words so let’s watch, shall we?

Of course the normal thing for Carrie to do next is to pack for her trip with Big but then refuse to go unless he tells her she’s the one (she needs a sign, people). It’s painful to watch, both her begging and his reaction. Like he literally says nothing and his face says nothing. So she breaks up with him on the sidewalk and forgoes a free trip to St. Barts. Big doesn’t seem particularly broken up about their breakup. Like, he legit looks more irritated she’s disrupting his travel plans than ending their relationship

And that’s the end of season one. As I mentioned in the very first post, Carrie really doesn’t become The Worst until Big rolls into the picture in his fancy black car. And it only builds from there.

SIDEBAR: When Samantha is sobbing to the girls in the bathroom at a bar over her new boyfriend James and his golf pencil equipment, the following exchange happens and it’s the best:

Charlotte: Is he a good kisser?

Samantha: Oh who the fuck cares? His dick is like a gherkin.

 

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