Okay…you guys. This episode BLOWS. When I rewatched it, because this is an episode I normally skip, I had forgotten just how fucking awful and selfish Carrie is to Aidan. And in general. Because she’s the WORST. So let’s get to the reasons why.
#1 – Charlotte is trying to stay busy to move past her divorce and is at dinner with Carrie and Aidan telling them how great she’s doing when Carrie is spotted by Susan Sharon (that annoying bitch from season one). When Susan asks what is new with her, Carrie says the usual (writing, gallivanting, eating). Charlotte has to remind her that she’s engaged. And will you look at what this bitch is wearing?
She is doing her best to hide her BEAUTIFUL engagement ring and can’t even bother to remember that she has promised to marry the man sitting next to her. Of course she feeds Susan the same bullshit she fed Aidan, oh this way it’s closer to my heart blah blah FUCK YOU. And when Susan asks for wedding details, Carrie gets flustered because they haven’t planned shit because she never should have said yes because she is the worst.
#2 – Carrie is taking a shower when Aidan jumps in with her because the sheet rock guy is coming in ten minutes. Aidan is telling her about all the progress they are making next door and the thing that Carrie is the most excited about is the impending arrival of the washer and dryer. Then, poor Aidan starts pitching her wedding ideas. Up first is going to Maui to get Maui’d. After Carrie jokingly chastises him for punning in the nude, she says that she isn’t a “hang 10, surfs up kind of bride.” His next suggestion is Aspen at Christmas and she just makes kind of a weird noise and in the voice over mentions how much pressure she’s feeling. End scene. Are we supposed to feel bad for her? Because I do NOT.
#3 – Miranda tells Carrie she “faked a sonogram” because she’s just not that into having a kid (p.s it is a boy). BTW, let’s pause to look at the belt Carrie is wearing.
Miranda mentions she feels that other people are more excited about her baby than she is, so Carrie takes this as an opportunity to change the subject to herself and how she doesn’t want to plan a wedding and she thinks her grace period with Aidan is over so she needs to do something soon. But she, the woman who only did a fashion show so she could keep the clothes, doesn’t even want to pick out a dress.
#4 – Miranda drags her to a horrible bridal shop so they can both try on hideous dresses as a joke. Miranda thinks this will help. It does not. Carrie sees herself in the mirror and has as legit panic attack. She says the dress is too tight and she can’t breathe so Miranda has to rip the back open and then they have to throw it in a dumpster. She also broke out in hives.
#5 – At brunch, Carrie finally admits to her friends that she can’t get married. She lifts up her shirt to show everyone the rash she got from trying on the dress…in public (maybe it was just super cheap fabric beyotch) and says her body is rejecting the idea of marriage. Carrie doesn’t understand why people even HAVE to get married. While she is babbling about how she already feels secure in her relationship and she doesn’t need to change anything, Miranda asks her why she even said yes in the first place. Valid question, Counselor. Carrie’s response is that she loves him and she basically had to but now she can’t vow to be with him forever. Your Honor, this witness is giving a bullshit statement and should be discredited.
And then she admits that she is a bad person.
That’s putting it lightly. And we all know bitch is just doing it for reassurance that she isn’t. Well YOU ARE.
#6 – Carrie buys a bunch of bridal magazines while Aidan is working on knocking down the wall next door. As the knocks get louder and louder, Carrie freaks the fuck out and runs over to tell him to stop. He thinks she’s talking about the wall but she finally admits she’s talking about the marriage. She tells Aidan she’s not ready to get married yet. He suggests that they slow things down but Carrie can’t even give him a time frame on when she might be ready. (When he asks her if the end of the year would be a possibility, her response is, “which year?”)
Aidan is so supportive and understanding that I want to deck her. She doesn’t deserve him or any of this. That’s why the next episode is so great (until the end when Charlotte bails her out, WTF CHAR)
#7 – The next week they all get dressed up for the Black & White Ball, Richard’s charity fundraiser. Miranda asks how Aidan is and Carrie said he’s good but still thrown by the change of plans. Since of course everything is about her so she gets to dictate the pace here.
#8 – As they are heading home or whatever, Aidan suggests they get married that night – fly to Vegas and just do it. This ultimately leads to their breakup. I’m including the video clip below because I don’t have enough words to express how selfish and awful Carrie is in this moment. Only her feelings matter. Only her choices matter. Only her future matters. Also I hate the way her hair is done up.
Okay I know I JUST said I didn’t have words to express how selfish Carrie is, so I will let her do it for you from bits of this conversation.
What about what we discussed?
Yes, I’m scared. Come on Aidan, we talked about this.
This isn’t about you! (This made me want to fucking scream. How is a decision to get married only about the non-bride? Those four words just once again proves she never thinks of anyone but herself.)
Aidan, you’re pushing me!
Vulture has this ranked #4 of all episodes, which…no. I mean everyone has their own opinion but I personally think this episode should be ranked way lower. It isn’t even in my top 20.
Aidan doesn’t push them to their fated breakup, he finally just realizes Carrie Bradshaw is the WORST. I’m glad he dumped her ass and moved out. If she wants to just be in limbo the rest of her life, well, that’s what Big is for.
SIDEBAR: I continue to hate the Samantha/Richard relationship, especially because he’s canoodling with Bebe London but acting like Samantha is his one and only. NOT COOL, DICK. And then we find out Bebe isn’t even the only other woman he’s sleeping with. Which leads us to…best line of the episode: