Season 2, Episode 7: The Chicken Dance

Even though I love this episode, I struggled to write about it. While Carrie is as insufferable as ever, Big is doing more than usual to beat that dead horse.

Miranda has an interior designer who gets her a couch in the nick of time. Her friend Jeremy is coming to visit from London, and Miranda said he could crash with her, but after exchanging a few flirty emails, Miranda decides she would rather Jeremy sleep more adjacent to her body than the couch.

But we aren’t here to talk about where Jeremy ends up sleeping (well, I guess we are, a little). We’re here to talk about the reasons why Carrie is the worst.

#1: Carrie forgets a toothbrush while spending the night at Big’s and takes encouragement from him giving her a pink toothbrush head to use on his electric toothbrush. In a voice-over, she says, “It was the single most encouraging moment so far in our relationship.” I WANT YOU TO THINK VERY CAREFULLY ABOUT THAT AND IS THIS REALLY A RELATIONSHIP YOU WANT TO BE IN???

#2: Miranda is putting the moves on Jeremy but in a hot second he ends up engaged to her interior designer, Madeline, a week after his arrival in NYC. After the going away/engagement party, Carrie calls Big for a reality check to see if he believes in love at first sight. By reality check, of course I mean she wants him to admit he fell in love with HER at first sight. Not gonna happen. No, he doesn’t believe in love at first sight and also wants to know what she’s wearing.

#3 Madeline asks Carrie to write a poem about love to read during the reception, which Big makes a whole lot of fun of. Then he asks when the wedding is and she says it doesn’t matter because he’s not going. He tells her he wouldn’t miss seeing her read her poem for anything, which turns out to be incorrect. When he shows up at her apartment to take her to the wedding, he tells her that he doesn’t want to sign the card for the gift because they aren’t his friends and why was his name on the invitation anyway? HOW DID THEY GET HIS NAME? Trigger meltdown.

#4 During Carrie’s poem, Big takes a call and leaves the room. Trigger additional meltdown. She disguises her tears as emotion for the bride and groom but yeah no that’s not the situation.  She spends a lot of the reception at the bar with Samantha because Big doesn’t want to slow dance while people are eating. (Trigger third meltdown.)

#5 When she finally meets back up with Big, she has meltdown #4 because he wants to leave and the bride and groom haven’t even cut the cake yet and remember how he wouldn’t even sign the card? The following ensues:

Carrie: “I’m afraid we don’t want the same things.”

Big: “Things like cake?”

Carrie: “I want someone who is going to be with me to the end. Of a wedding.”

So Big says he will stay, which is enough for Carrie so then she says they can leave anyway. This bitch is exhausting.

SIDEBAR: Charlotte meets Martin, her love at first sight groomsman (how are they just meeting before the ceremony? Was there no rehearsal?). They have an amazing time, sleep together in the bridal suite, and then he introduces her to his parents. But their time together is cut short when she tells him that his father groped her while they were dancing. As he storms off she yells at him, “Did the last four and a half hours mean nothing to you?” Too funny.