Carrie is invited to the Hamptons house of her friends Patience and Peter. She explains in her voiceover that Hamptons’ guests have to sing for their supper, so at dinner, she tells some raunchy date story to the delight of her hosts.
So, why is Carrie the worst in this episode? I’m glad you asked.
#1 – When Peter exposes himself to Carrie in the hallway the next morning (Patience is out getting muffins!), she tells Patience the story and adds “P.S. Congratulations.” Well, Patience does not appreciate this and sends her straight back to Manhattan.
#2 – Next we see Carrie at brunch with the gals. Samatha suggests that maybe Peter just wanted to show off the size of his dick if he wasn’t actively hitting on Carrie. When Sam asks how big it is, the waiter has just arrived with a peppermill.
Subtle. There is a lot of talk about how married people consider single people the enemy.
#3 – Out with Stanford, Carrie runs into her old friend Joe and his life partner, Lou. They ask if she’s married and when she tells them no, they decide she’d make a perfect egg donor for their future baby. It is weird because they already have a surrogate but apparently her eggs aren’t good enough?? Whatever. Carrie assumes this request means she is no longer seen as a person. It is like she is taking every negative stereotype about being single and FINDING a way to apply it to herself.
SIDEBAR DON’T FIX UP YOUR COWORKERS: Miranda is playing on her law firm’s softball team. Her coworker Jeff wanted to set her up. Miranda agrees, but when Jeff introduces her to Syd, a lesbian, Miranda realizes her coworkers don’t realize she’s straight. Jeff’s excuse is that he’s never seen her with a guy. UM, F-. Jeff (H. Jon Benjamin in a role where you can see his face, a rarity!). It is none of anyone’s business regarding who their coworkers want to date and how they identify. Miranda graciously tells Sid she isn’t a lesbian, but they combine for a game-winning double play that catches the eye of the senior partner of Miranda’s firm, so she accepts a couple’s dinner invite for the sake of her career.
#4 – Carrie decides to “infiltrate” the mindset of married couples to try and discover why they are so afraid of singles. Enter lunch with David and Lisa. When they ask if she wants to get married one day, she says she is starting to think she isn’t the marrying kind. I wish someone could have planted this conversation in Aidan’s head, he deserved so much better.
#5 – As if on cue, their friend Sean magically shows up at lunch where there is conveniently an extra seat at the table and he is by himself. Sean IS the marrying kind and when he asks to see Carrie again she says yes. I mean, why? It is just going to end!
#6 – I don’t think this needs further explanation.
She compares him to a DKNY dress – not your style, but there so you try it on anyway.
SIDEBAR TEAM SYD: She goes to this dinner as a favor to Miranda because she thinks Miranda is awesome, and Miranda ends the evening wishing she were a lesbian because Syd is so great.
#7 – Carrie brings Samantha and Charlotte to Sean’s housewarming party and things do not go well. Sam is trying to have a conversation about investment advice with some dude when Kathy Stabler barges in and drags his ass out of there, thinking Sam is trying to hone in on her man. Later on, Samatha points out to Carrie all of Sean’s married friends that she’s slept with. Patience and Peter show up, and a completely bombed-out Samantha shrieks with laughter calling him Peppermill Dick.
SIDEBAR SAMANTHA SLEEPS WITH CHARLOTTE’S DOORMAN.
#8 – Carrie breaks up with Sean after the party and even admits she was just trying him on. Cruel. Then she pawns him off on Charlotte, who DOES want to get married, but dumps Sean when they don’t like the same china pattern.
All in all, a mediocre episode.
Carrie Bradshaw is the Worst 