This episode opens with Miranda “so obviously not a model” Hobbes at a dinner party with Nick the Modelizer. It turns out Nick’s friends told him to stop bringing models to dinner parties because they don’t eat and are no fun. The friends are thrilled with Miranda because she has a personality. Miranda takes this as an insult.
The episode moves on to the concept of men who only date and/or sleep with models. Nick is nothing to write home about, but he can get any gal he wants because models run wild on the streets of NYC, according to Ms. Bradshaw. They just want to find a dude who will buy them things so I guess nothing else matters?
The conversation about models continues with Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha gathering at Carrie’s apartment for some Chinese food. They all go around talking about which of their body parts they hate.
Now let’s dive into reasons Carrie Bradshaw is the Worst:
#1 – She goes to visit her friend Barkley, an artist (of paintings) who only sleeps with models. The art he is most proud of is the sex tapes he made with his various models without their consent. While Barkley is showing her his videos, instead of being appalled, Carrie asks for a cigarette. So fucked up.
#2 – Carrie is walking and talking with Skipper, who is still smitten with Miranda and shoehorns Carrie into the middle of the situation by forcing her to call Miranda from HIS cell phone, but then he leaves a message? Look, Carrie, this is just awkward. For everyone. Also, can we discuss the 1998 cellphone that Skipper throws at her?
#3 – Looking for more modelizers, Carrie asks Stanford to bring her to a fashion show where he has a client who will be on the runway. Derek, the underwear model, is Stanford’s most important client and wet dream.
Carrie watches the show with Samantha. Barkley shows up and asks if Carrie is going to the after-party. Samantha says of course they are. Carrie gives her the run down on Barkley’s sitch. I’m sure she feels like she is doing Sam a favor by putting Bark Boy on blast but it backfires.
#4 – At said after-party, Carrie runs into Mr. Big. He tells her he has started reading her column since they met and describes it as “cute.”
Before she can object to that comment, Big asks her what she’s working on now. She is fishing for compliments when she talks about men who date models and asks if Big has any thoughts about this. He is also super condescending, and it turns out, is at the party with a model of his own. Right before that is revealed, Carrie drops that she spends a lot of time writing her column at a coffee shop on 73rd & Madison.
#5 – She is hailing a cab when Derek runs up and asks if he can come home with her. She agrees. For the validation, maybe? Or for “research.” Even though they don’t do anything, it also infuriates Stanford.
SIDEBAR POOR SIKPPER: He runs into Miranda when she is buying cat food and he is buying cereal and she brings him home with her.
SIDEBAR OH, SAMANTHA: Not only does she have sex with Barkley, but she insists that he film it.
#6 – Stanford calls Carrie looking for Derek, and rather than give him any context, just hands the phone over to Derek so Stanny will think the worst.
#7 – Carrie is writing away at 73rd & Madison when Big shows up to tell her dating models gets old and eventually guys just want to be with someone who makes them laugh. Then he fucking leaves.
And our smitten kitten is smitten.
Carrie Bradshaw is the Worst 